Eddie Lawrence- "The Old Philosopher"

Book Meme

Grab the nearest book, turn to page 123. Write down the fifth sentence:

The people of the golden age lived without the advantage of learning and lived under the influence of instinct and nature.

(The Essential Erasmus: The Praise of Folly)

Excerpt from Barchester Towers

A goodly man- Septimus Harding


The novel Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope is a hilarious novel about politics and religion in Victorian England where all the moral ambiguity of human life is made manifest. Somehow all of this is made funnier when applied to clerics.

One of these individuals, Mr. Harding, is inspirational in his conduct and character.

Here is an extract from the novel in which Mr. Harding laments the shifts coming about in the Church of England and the culture in general toward faddish mores which lack any real substance. Another character, Mr. Slope, represents said shift.


Take this and transfer it to the Humanities and the Intellectual Life and you will understand my suffering. Where innovation is deemed solely for innovation's sake alone and all that is True and Beautiful is banished as old-fogey and politically incorrect:


‘New men are carrying out new measures, and are eating away the useless rubbish of past centuries.’ What cruel words these had been; and how often are they now used with all the heartless cruelty of a Slope! A man is sufficiently condemned if it can only be shown that either in politics or religion he does not belong to some new school established within the last score of years. He may then regard himself as rubbish and expect to be carted away. A man is nothing now unless he has within him a full appreciation of the new era; an ear in which it would seem that neither honesty nor truth is very desirable, but in which success is the only touchstone of merit. We must laugh at every thing that is established. Let the joke be ever so bad, ever so untrue to the real principles of joking; nevertheless we must laugh—or else beware the cart. We must talk, think, and live up to the spirit of the times, and write up to it too, if that cacoethes be upon us, or else we are nought. New men and now measures, long credit and few scruples, great success and wonderful ruin, such are now the tastes of Englishmen who know how to live. Alas, alas! under the circumstances Mr Harding could not but feel that he was an Englishman who did not know how to live. This new doctrine of Mr Slope and the rubbish cart, new at least at Barchester, sadly disturbed his equanimity.'

Jimmy, Jimmy

Hilarious video.

A Tajikistani worker singing Bollywood songs during a work break in a Russian factory.

The Douchiad: Part the Third- Republic of Douches

Honorary citizens of Douchistan.


Nestled amongst the stans is the little-known country of Douchistan, the only country to be forcibly separated from another against its will. It appears that the inhabitants of Kurmenistan thought that people to the Southeast were total douches. Bigger douches even than their former supreme ruler Saparmurat Niyazov.

In Douchetown, the capital city, is a main square which has a giant, monumental douchebag carved in granite. Every year they have a celebration commemorating their expulsion and the formation of Douchistan, declaring honorary citizenship to worthy individuals.


Congratulations! to:



Richard Dawkins





Supposedly an Evolutionary Biologist, Dawkins now spends his time writing polemical tomes advocating the New Atheism. Someone has forgotten to tell him what science is and how philosophy and theology deal with the question of God. What we get instead is a badly thought out rehash of 19th century scientism.

If you look at the rest of the world only English-speaking countries have real controversies over the Evolution vs Religion question. Largely because of douches like this who attack their opponents with ad hominem arguments that taste of straw.


As if the positing of a completely random universe doesn't contradict all moral posturing in the first place.


P.S. Read the Church Fathers, especially Augustine.




James Cameron



From Terminator, Aliens, Terminator 2 one would have thought he has a bright future ahead. But it was not to be. There was the ultimate chic flick writ large which cheapened the noble story of Titanic. However, thus far all could be forgiven. Cameron's douchehood only became apparent upon declaring "I'm king of the world" at the Academy Awards. His wife summarily divorced him, even she couldn't stand this giant douche. Then came the documentary Forgotten Tomb of Jesus which just solidified him in the annals of douchitude. Anyone with a passing knowledge of First century Judaism or Actual History, for that matter, could see this dookie coming.



Ward Churchill





Each time you fill out Human Resource forms dealing with race and gender involves a moment of truth. Especially for the white man who would gladly check Pacific Islander to qualify for some funds for over-priced higher education. This guy actual went all the way through with it and became chair of Ethnic Studies at Colorado, Boulder. Add to this his "Little Eichmann" theory which blamed the victims of the 9-11 attacks for their fate. They were wholly responsible for US policy in the mid-east thus they deserved to die, falling like rag-dolls from burning buildings. Nice.
If you don't find this moral reasoning disturbing then try again.
Yes, we are all connected and share, to an extent, the iniquity of our society but we also are responsible at an individual level.
Its called individual and collective judgment in eschatological terms. But these are judgments reserved to God alone not to douche-wad professors.

Obama? Yo mama!

Generate a Barack Obama Quote!


"You know, there's a lot of talk in this country about lameness. Well I think Americans are tired of the same old dillweeds. Ordinary Americans believe in America, they want less bastards, they just aren't sure if their leaders believe in phattyness."

The Douchiad Part the Second

A douche by any other name . . .

Unfortunately the plague of Douche Baggery is not restricted to the States. Here are some equivalents in other languages.

Italian





Stronzo (from Lombard strunz meaning excrement) A piece of crap at the metaphysical and moral level. A complete douche bag.



Spanish



Cretino- stronger than the English 'cretin'. Basically a moron or idiot.


Yiddish



Schmuck - (Lit.- The male member). A stupid or detestable person.

The Douchiad: Part the First

This series will examine the psychology and accessories of the most modern of men: the douche bag.

definition of douche Bag (adapted from www.urbandictionary.com)

A person with an unbelievable size of ego without the substance to back it up and normally deludes himself that he is the "numero uno" in the universe. A douche bag is normally narrow-minded but thinks otherwise, disrespectful but thinks he is cool, thinks he knows everything and has a peculiar habit of treating other people like crap.


Lessons in Douche-Baggery or How to be a Douche Bag without Really Trying.

1. Get a Bluetooth- that annoying ear phone thing-a-majig.




The key accessory of the 21st century douche bag. To paraphrase Wesley Willis "get that damn thing out of your ear and tell people you're tired of looking like an a-hole!" Given the ludicrous design of the devise and its wide-spread use it may be a vast conspiracy to make everyone in America into a complete jackass. "I'm sorry but pushing the answer button on my cell-phone just takes too much effort. I mean, my time is important. The sun rises and sets in my pants, for God's sake!"


Next installment- A douche by any other name. Equivalents for douche bag in other languages.

Sticking it to the man in Moscow.

A hard day at the office in Russia.


(via English Russia of course)