The Douchiad: Part the Third- Republic of Douches

Honorary citizens of Douchistan.


Nestled amongst the stans is the little-known country of Douchistan, the only country to be forcibly separated from another against its will. It appears that the inhabitants of Kurmenistan thought that people to the Southeast were total douches. Bigger douches even than their former supreme ruler Saparmurat Niyazov.

In Douchetown, the capital city, is a main square which has a giant, monumental douchebag carved in granite. Every year they have a celebration commemorating their expulsion and the formation of Douchistan, declaring honorary citizenship to worthy individuals.


Congratulations! to:



Richard Dawkins





Supposedly an Evolutionary Biologist, Dawkins now spends his time writing polemical tomes advocating the New Atheism. Someone has forgotten to tell him what science is and how philosophy and theology deal with the question of God. What we get instead is a badly thought out rehash of 19th century scientism.

If you look at the rest of the world only English-speaking countries have real controversies over the Evolution vs Religion question. Largely because of douches like this who attack their opponents with ad hominem arguments that taste of straw.


As if the positing of a completely random universe doesn't contradict all moral posturing in the first place.


P.S. Read the Church Fathers, especially Augustine.




James Cameron



From Terminator, Aliens, Terminator 2 one would have thought he has a bright future ahead. But it was not to be. There was the ultimate chic flick writ large which cheapened the noble story of Titanic. However, thus far all could be forgiven. Cameron's douchehood only became apparent upon declaring "I'm king of the world" at the Academy Awards. His wife summarily divorced him, even she couldn't stand this giant douche. Then came the documentary Forgotten Tomb of Jesus which just solidified him in the annals of douchitude. Anyone with a passing knowledge of First century Judaism or Actual History, for that matter, could see this dookie coming.



Ward Churchill





Each time you fill out Human Resource forms dealing with race and gender involves a moment of truth. Especially for the white man who would gladly check Pacific Islander to qualify for some funds for over-priced higher education. This guy actual went all the way through with it and became chair of Ethnic Studies at Colorado, Boulder. Add to this his "Little Eichmann" theory which blamed the victims of the 9-11 attacks for their fate. They were wholly responsible for US policy in the mid-east thus they deserved to die, falling like rag-dolls from burning buildings. Nice.
If you don't find this moral reasoning disturbing then try again.
Yes, we are all connected and share, to an extent, the iniquity of our society but we also are responsible at an individual level.
Its called individual and collective judgment in eschatological terms. But these are judgments reserved to God alone not to douche-wad professors.