Friday, June 06, 2008

The Douchiad: Part the First



This series will examine the psychology and accessories of the most modern of men: the douche bag.

definition of douche Bag (adapted from www.urbandictionary.com)

A person with an unbelievable size of ego without the substance to back it up and normally deludes himself that he is the "numero uno" in the universe. A douche bag is normally narrow-minded but thinks otherwise, disrespectful but thinks he is cool, thinks he knows everything and has a peculiar habit of treating other people like crap.


Lessons in Douche-Baggery or How to be a Douche Bag without Really Trying.


1. Get a Bluetooth- that annoying ear phone thing-a-majig.




The key accessory of the 21st century douche bag. To paraphrase Wesley Willis "get that damn thing out of your ear and tell people you're tired of looking like an a-hole!" Given the ludicrous design of the devise and its wide-spread use it may be a vast conspiracy to make everyone in America into a complete jackass. "I'm sorry but pushing the answer button on my cell-phone just takes too much effort. I mean, my time is important. The sun rises and sets in my pants, for God's sake!"


Next installment- A douche by any other name. Equivalents for douche bag in other languages.

2 comments:

Father Eric said...

"The sun rises and sets in my pants, for God's sake!"

You're in top form here. I'm eagerly looking forward to future installments.

Father Eric said...

"The sun rises and sets in my pants, for God's sake!"

You're in top form here. I'm eagerly looking forward to future installments.