More British Humour: Dave's Big Web of Lies
Near a decade ago during the Miami epoch. So called due to the fragments of chunky shoes and beer bottles found at a certain strata of the geological record there existed a website founded on lies which Dave (no relation) a student at said Miami University who didst post such lies on his door. One of them an elaborate yarn spun by an individual, Jeff Morrow by name, whose tires inexplicably burst whilst braving the wilds of Hamilton Ohio all in order to miss a university lecture. This website is remarkably still in existence. An amazement given the distance of the Miami epoch and the demise of Attractions and First Run.
Dave's Big Web of Lies.
Now, if one were to search under a random word say parsley, one gets a string of phrases which are utterly untrue:
Parsley is lighter than air.
Source: Steven Grady (grady@xcf.berkeley.edu) | Obligatory Self-reference |
Wearing parsley in your ears will block the sound of poorly performed music.
Source: tbob7@webtv.net | Obligatory Self-reference |
The herbs "Parsley, Sage, Rosmary and Thyme" have never and will never be sold at a Strawberry Fayre; the four herbs combine to form an explosive mix capable of cracking the earth in two like a china plate.
Source: Dust to DustSubmitted on Monday the 8th of November 2004 | Obligatory Self-reference |
Parsley is an aphrodisiac for mice.
Source: Paul Wayper (paulway@mabula.net) | Obligatory Self-reference |
Most automatic teller machines can dispense parmesan cheese and parsley if you press the right buttons.
Source: Paul Wayper (paulway@mabula.net) | Obligatory Self-reference |
Parsley grows wild at the bottom of the ocean.
Source: Joshua Belsky (jjbelsky@yahoo.com)Submitted on Monday the 5th of April 2004 | Obligatory Self-reference |
Bungee cord is made of fifty percent parsley and fifty percent wood shavings. The origin of the remaining fifty percent is as of yet undetermined, but it has been speculated that paper clips may be involved.
Source: Shane-Christopher Desmond (fitzroy@geocities.com)And now for the topper: Journalism is an honourable profession, attracting some of the most talented and thoughtful minds in the world. Its aim is to inform, elucidate and uplift the human spirit.
Or if you prefer: William Shakespeare's middle name was Colin.
| Obligatory Self-reference |
No comments:
Post a Comment